| GUILTY BY DESIGN; SHE'S NOTHING MORE THAN FICTION |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| lyfe. |
[Tuesday
September 23rd, 2008
7:43pm] |
Here we go again!!!!! sorry guys, haven't posted on here in a while. I missed my livejournal friends. They always supported me throughout everything.
A lot has happened in the last YEAR.
Sergei and I broke up. It was really hard at first for me. I felt like I lost everything, and he was being an asshole and didn't want anything to do with me. We tried making it work again a couple of times, but we both just changed so much over the couple years we were together. He wanted different thing and I couldn't handle the whole 'the bands gonna make it' notion. It just seemed so unrealistic to me, and I wanted somebody to settle down with, not try to be a rock star their entire life. It just didn't work. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean and trying to make it work again just wasn't happening. I thought that we could put things back together and everything would be normal again, but now I see that it just wouldn't happen. We're better off without eachother. I miss some things about him, but the bad outweighed the good, and I wasn't having it. I'll always remember him as the good thing that changed my life, and then ran it right back into the ground. Not really a good thing, and for that I'm sorry. He did change my life. a lot. For a long while. But after he just broke my heart and changed my whole outlook on men and relationships. For a long while after we broke up, I didn't want anything to do with any boys. I didn't want to try to go out and meet new people. I didnt want to do anything. I would cry about it all the time, but i never got a good cry about it until we talked just recenty. I bawled my eyes out over the phone with him. I kept telling him how sorry I was for crying and telling him "I haven't gotten to cry about this, im sorry im sorry' apologizing apologizing. He just brushed me off like he didn't even care. I told him that I dont know how we got to that point. We were supposed to be together forever. we were supposed to get married and have kids and live in cambridge house. It was supposed to be likethat.Bullshit. I can't trust anyone. I just can't.
In lighter news -
I got aly back. Thank God. I can't believe i deserted her for that long. I was such a stupid woman for doing that and letting her go. But now I know that she truly is my best friend for taking me back like that after all the shit i put her through. Shes great. God bless her. We'll be friends forever, I know it. We've been through so much together and I can't believe i threw all of that away for some asshole boyfriend. I'll never do that again. I'll never let anything ruin our friendship. She's such a great person. So that wasreally good. It feels great to be back.
Mark and Aly has this cute little thing over the summer. They were 'together' without the title. Exclusive, if you will. I honestly thought they were great together. Poor Aly. Mark went back to grand valley and is feeling like shit again, and since he's addicted to heartbreak he couldn't be with aly FOR REAL because Aly can't hurt him. It's terrible. I'm so angry with him for toying with Aly's feeling because she's just so delicate. And not to mention, she's my best friend and i hate seeing her hurt. I thought they would be cute together.
I switched schools, now i go to Mohegan. It's an alternative school. I go 1:30pm - 7:30 pm. It's super easy and the people there are great. You go at your own pace,and I just need to graduate. I made some friends there. Theres a lesbian there, her name is Hilary. She has really really curly short blonde hair and bad acne. She dresses like a typical ska kid. She's cute andreally funny. I like her.
i still love my life. Despite all the bullshit thats gone down.
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| hm. college. tours. |
[Friday
August 24th, 2007
2:03pm] |
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sergei talked about going to college in chicago the other day and i really felt....sad.He asked me what was wrong, i just told him i didn't want to talk about it, and i didn't. But really, it's just starting to hit me that this is going to be the last year he's going to be in that school, and i'm feeling just so sad that everyone has gone off to college this summer already, and i'm broken up about it. I act like i'm not, but i am. I hate change, and they'rve always been there, and now they're just gone,and i wasn't ready for it. I'm not a very independant person. I need people to talk to and to have fun with. I need somebody to love. Judging by how i feel about Mark, Phil, and Josh leaving, i can't imagine what i'm going to feel like if sergei leaves. He told me he wouldn't. and if he did it would just prove that EVERYONE leaves, no matter what they tell you and no matter how much they love you. The greatest friends i've had that have given me unconditional love for the past 8 years are gone. And if we see eachother when they come back, who knows if they'll be the same. Probably not. Distance like that changes, time apart like that changes, and i know that and it sucks because hi, i can't change it. It couldn't stay simple like this forever, but i just wasn't ready.
and now i guess the cozmonauts are allegedly going on tour. It sounds great, but even tim is skeptical.He says it's going to take A LOT for this to fall through. It's 2 weeks the beginning of next summer. They'll go through all these states on the east coast. It's just like, wow, okay, so you are leaving. I'm so proud of them and happy and excited for them, but im gonna get really pissed if i have to hear "hey man, it doesn't matter, we're going on tour" all year, i'm gonna go crazy.
The fragile keep secrets, clustered in pockets, i'll sell them for nothing, a cheap watch, a locket.
with the kind of gold that washes off
And the saddic-like leopards, they stick to the shadows, come to ring bells of warning to tell of their comings,
let the curtain shut their door.
And the angrier animals are senseless and savage, they act without order and logical lapses.
they stain their mouths with blood.
So take my hand, and standing there is a life to knows. All corn is growing stalks that form a wall to hide.
The wind carries sounds that i can see from beyond that line.
And the stalks begin to sway,
stay with me arienette, until the wolves are away.
Wicked or vultures, they bake in the canyons, they'll circle in sunlight, and wait for their victims
to collapse and call to them.
And the Desperate or water, they'll run down forever, and they'll soak into silence, and mend them together
in a dark and distant place.
So don't leave me hear with lonely mirrors watching me
This house, it holds nothing but the memories
and the moon, it glows silver, but never sleeps. Silver turns to grey.
Please stay with me arienette until the wolves are away
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| hi, long time no update |
[Friday
August 17th, 2007
1:14pm] |
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So everything has been going nuts. Mostly Regan, he's fallen face first off his rocker, and all of us are fed up. Everyone is leaving, why does anything matter now? He's trying to turn me against them by saying "oh, Emily, They say so much shit about you and Sergei, always" psh. Yeah, Mark, I believe it coming from you, the master bullshitter after I have been friends with all those people for 8 years. 8 years, man, it's going to take a lot more than Mark Regan to get me to believe that bullshit. He loved burdening people with his problems to make himself seem like such a victim. It's actually quite pathetic. He makes me think that there are no good people in the world, and that it's foolish to count on anybody, even yourself, and I know all of that isn't true. He loves gratifying himself and it's stupid that he always makes it seem that what he thinks is the right thing to think and any other opinion is wrong and against him. My image of him is getting rather skewed knowing that he lies about everything. He says that he doesn't go out of his way to lie to people, but anybody that says that is lying, because they're trying to get you to believe that they never lie about anything. HE LIES ALL THE TIME! About stupid things, too. Even about this entire situation, I caught him yesterday when he showed up at Josh's to tattle on Josh to Mrs. Bails, but they weren't home. Mrs. Bails knows everything about Josh. Yeah, Josh drinks sometimes, but thats not a big deal. He's 18, and leaving for college, of course he's going to drink. SO, I call him just to see what he would say as to why he was there, he said that he was just going to tell Josh's parents what was going on, and that he knew he wasn't welcome in that house anymore. HAHABULLSHIT. He called Lisa too and he told her that he went over there to see if he could still show up at Josh's going-away-to-college-party. HAHAMOREBULLSHIT. He can't keep track of what he tells other people, so he just says the first thing that comes to mind,and none of it is ever true. It's so sad. He says that he's not a psychopath. Ha. Yeah, right. i have never seen anyone with such explosive anger.
On a lighter note. I'm at the house right now. Sergei is upstairs painting. I want to go help, but I'm afraid to leave Tim and Lisa down here ALL ALONE. They'll probably just....get all over eachother and that won't be pretty. Tim keeps farting and it's stinking up the basement, so I've solved the lack of fresh smell dilema by putting Sergei's TAG midnight scent deodorant under my nose, and it smells spectacular. You see, the matress in the basement is really low to the ground, and there this big space of wall ubove it, and I hit my head all the time. I just thought it was me being dumb, but Lisa just hit her head too. So either lisa and i are both dumb, or the degree of that couch is rather hazardous. We went to CJ barrymore's today with Tim, Lisa, and Lisa's brother, Johnathan, who has re-kindled the relationship with the horse-faced little brat named Gina. So we took hiim to meet up with her. ICK. By coincidence, we ran into Meg and Andy there, funny. We played putt putt and it was actually really fun. We didnt keep score or anything, we just kinda fucked around, it was actually a lot of fun for $6.00 with a buy one get one free coupon, compliments of Lisa Coupon Vitale. We rented National Lampoons Vacation, hilarious movie,I must say. Sergei and I wanted to rent Apocolypto, but due to Tim and Lisa's illiterate personalities, it unfortunately didn't end up happening.
Tomorrow is Josh's going away to college party. We're all just going to stay the night, he leaves at 4 in the morning, then we'll all just go to bed probably. I'll be too sad to sleep. I've been trying to Mentally prepare myself for everyone leaving, but I'm still gonna cry. Josh is my big brother. All those boys are. Mark and Phil are leaving on the 23rd. At least they'll still be in the state, unlike Josh who is going to boston. It's going to be so sad. Sergei and I are gonna road trip over one of the breaks to go see him and his other discustingly smart MIT friends. It's just like, what are we gonna do without them? Or what am I gonna do without them? I hate change, so I hate that I won't be able to leave phil anymore blood-brothers messages, and i won't be able to call mark puta, or listen to the postal service and sonic youth with him, and he won't be able to tell me how much he loves having sex with veronica, even though i'm not particularily fond of Veronica. I've had so many good times with them. Having sleepovers at Josh's house, and having popcorn fights until the carpet was coated with an inch of popcorn. Mr. Bails would get so mad at us. It's just....ah. i don't know what I'm gonna do. I used to worry about who was going to take care of me after they were gone, but Sergei takes care of me and I'm not worried about that anymore. But still, eh.
I want to buy Sergei a puppy for christmas. I'll get a job by then and i want to buyt him a puppy like ein. Or a Husky like he wants. If we do get a puppy like ein, in cowboy bebop, we will name it ein. It'll be so cute. We saw one at the pet store the other day. It was so cute!
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[Monday
June 4th, 2007
7:29pm] |
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as far as im concerned, i'm the most stressed out person right now.
i have no idea whats going on and what the hell im supposed to do. My mom started crying her eyes out this morning because "i don't appreciate her". Which is a load of crap. I don't ask for anything. I ask her for rides when i can't get there myself, and i always say thank you because i know it's a pain in the ass. But i never ask her for money, if she asks me if i have it, i usually don't so i say no, and she forks over WILLINGLY, a couple of bucks. But i don't just come out and ask her for money. I haven't done that in a long time. Lollapallooza is the only HUGE thing that she is paying for, and she offered to pay for it. She's paying for my hotel and my train, and some of my food money. but evreything else, i'm on my own. I appreciate everything she does for me. I always say thank you. What else does she want me to do? Kiss her feet? I just don't know what she expects, and if i knew i would fix it, but her only complaint was that i'm moody a lot. IM A GIRL, IM GONNA BE MOODY A LOT. and she's no god damn picnic either, she's 8 months pregnant, and IM THE ONLY ONE IN THE HOUSE THAT IS MOODY. what a load of shit. Seriously, it was like a smack in the face. I don't do anything wrong, and it's not like i'm home enough for her to be fed up with me all the time. I live at Sergei's. I see her for like...2 hours at the very most a day. ANd on very rare ocasions, maybe an hour or two longer.
It's just so frustrating because I don't know what I'm going to do when this baby comes.
I'm not excited about it and i hate that i'm not. But i just don't care. I don't care if it's a boy and I don't care if it's a girl. i just don't want anything to do with it because I don't think we have the money to take care of it. I feel bad for the baby. Day by day, i'm trying to get myself excited and prepared for it, but i'm totaly clueless. I was so excited when Audrey was born, but not this one, now i just think she's in over her head and doesn't realize it yet.
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| Update on everythingggg |
[Saturday
May 5th, 2007
1:44pm] |
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It's been awhile since i've updated....so maybe now is about the time that i record my progress and talk about how awesome everything is.
No Pot, No cigarettes, no alcohol, no nothing in the substance catagory.
My love has shown me enough love and care and enough 'dicipline', for lack of a better word, to get me off of everything. My appearance has changed dramatically too.
Everytime i run into somebody that i used to hang out with, they always tell me how great i look...know why, BECAUSE I DONT DO STUPID SHIT.
i've lost a ton of squish, and my complexion has improved a ten fold.
everything is great with sergei. we love eachother a lot and i've never been happier.
and thanks for all my friends on LJ's support through all this :)
here are the before and after pics
BEFORE:
AFTER STUPID SHIT:
i've gotten much better, and im a lot happier. and i think that anybody who has a problem should fix it so they can get better too. I'm still the same crazy emmi as i was, im just healthy and i dont do stupid shit.
i love you all
- Emmi
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| new things |
[Tuesday
April 10th, 2007
6:20pm] |
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a.twigg and i went yesterday to excalibur to get needles stuck through our body!
Sergei didn't want me to get anything done in my face because he likes my face, so i got my tummy pierced. ITS SO CUTE. Aly got her septum done. It looks mighty cute.
I went to the female doctor today so he could check out my reproductive system to make sure everything was healthy, and everything is fine! i had to drink SO MUCH water. it was discusting.I drank so much i felt like i was going to puke. it was discusting. I have never peed so much in my entire life.
Mark is coming to get me right now, and we're gonna hang out until Aly gets back from driving and then we're gonna hang out with her. Sergei is with the Cozmonauts all day today, so i won't see him until tomorrow. I want to hang out with Nick Hagen. Nick Hagen is a kid that goes to school with mark and phil, and he doesnt have much intirest in ANYTHING so i want to hang out with him and try and make him a tiny bit more social. He's a really nice boy, he just needs to not be so boring. so i want to hang out with him to try and "liven him up"
So i guess MICHELLE is coming up here for Meg's graduation party. (ugh)
that will be intiresting. Sergei says he'll be pissed off beyond beliefe if im going to be all uncomfortable around her this time because it's his ex girlfriend and all, and that i'm gonna have to get used to them talking, because they're still friends.
So i'm trying to talk to her more to try and get to know her so i can maybe trust her a little more.
so hopefully that will work out okay. i've got awhile to prepare for it.
WISH ME LUCK!
Rain by Trivium is an awesome song.
i've been listening to it all day.
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| the past couple of nights |
[Monday
February 19th, 2007
11:37pm] |
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Were awesome.
Sergei and I went to Josh's house without josh there because mark and johnny were just chillin' there to wait for him to come home after work.
Since we haven't seen him in a while, we decided to join the fun. Basically, we walk into josh's room,and mark and Johnny are drawing a wide variety of weird penises on Josh's computer paper, and taping them to his wall, mirrors, computers, posters, ceiling, etc. So Sergei and I joined - WE WERE IN THAT ROOM FOR 2 HOURS PENISIZING JOSH'S ROOM. it was awesome. we loved it.
we just hung out in Josh's kitchen and livingroom watching futurama and eating ice cream. Josh came home, and holy cow...he was cracking up. I hope he kept a lot of the pictures up, there was some really good ones.
mark took me home. and i put on a movie and went to sleep.
Today, I woke up and did absolutely nothing. I finished cleaning my room and stuff. and then Sergei came over and we were playing with Audrey. Sergei tried to de-gay my iPOD and stuff. and we went to my room and plugged in the PS2 and played dark Alliance for like....20 minutes. haha. then we watched Finding Nemo (it was cute) and we made some Jasmine green tea. it tasted an awful lot like flowers, and I didn't enjoy it too much.
I FINALLY GAVE TIM HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT. haha, his birthday was almost exactly a month ago...and i just now gave him his birthday present...wow...lame. and i see him almost everyday haha....funny.
I'm now at Aly's house...we watched Lady in the Water. what a HORRIBLE movie. Seriously. the only way it would be good is if...the acting wasn't so shtty and it didn't take place in an apartment complex.
i love Sergei. He's so perfect. He's painting his basement tomorrow and I want to help.
well, reggie is in from taking out the trash and it's almost midnight, i should probably hit the hay.
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| well...a lot is going on |
[Sunday
February 18th, 2007
7:24pm] |
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as far as I'm concerned nothing spectacular has happened lately. The Cozmonauts played battle of the bands at Clutch Cargos and totaly bombed because CC's equpment sucks fucking balls. But I was proud of them anyways, I would never have the guts/motivation/confidence to go on stage and play for people that will judge you based on looks and what kind of guitar you play and whether or not you're a shitty ass screamo band.
Josh has this new girl, named Erin. She's cute She's this artsy girl with long brown hair and a cute face. She's a big girl, I'm not going to lie. But she's real cute. The memebers of the ASS don't like her because she is quote un-quote a succbus. Blah blah blah. But josh likes her and who knows....the opporitunity was knocking at the door.
I've started my lollapalooza fund and it's continuing to grow. I can't wait to spend like.....5 days in chicago with my sergei and my Josh and everything. It's gonna be amazing. Even if the lollapalooza thing doesn't work, i still want to go to Chicago for a few days. It would still be awesome.
I got books today. Mark came and picked me up and we went to Oriental Buffet and then went to Borders. We sat in a corner of the literature section and read books. I got Catcher in the Rye, Hannibal Rising, Perks of Being a Wallflower, and The city that forgot how to breahe. They're all pretty sweet. I'm really excited to read all of them. I want to read "As the sun rises", I also want to get the entire Charles Burkowski collection. He's such a badass and he makes me feel awesome.
Sergei and I went and saw Smokin' Aces yesterday. WOW....what a fan-fucking-tastic movie. I want to go see it again. You really really have to pay attention to what is going on to actually understand the ending. But wow...it was fantastic..
I can't help but think that this entire generation of tainted youth is going totaly and completely downhill with drugs, drinking, and un-protected, irresponsible sex. And that is precisely why we are the "i dont give a shit" generation. HELLO FUCKING WELFARE. as far as i'm concerned, it's more the media's fault that our own. We get so much pressure put on us that we think that all of this stuff is the answer to our problems in some.....cynical type of fasion to get up and say LETS SHOOT UP BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR. It's all bullshit. More and more people are turning to artificial substances and artificial feeling and all of this FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE stuff to make them seem more socially acceptable and more acceptable to themselves and they don't care if it goes against the desires of their own well-being. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!?
YES! FUCKED UP COUNTRY INDEED. all we do is tax tax tax tax THE SHIT out of everything and then expect our citizens to pay MORE at the end of the year so we can spend it on weapons of mass destruction and to send our men over-seas to fight a war that is totaly and completely fucking pointless. It's neither our countries business nor responsibility to butt into everybody''s personal choices of how to run a government . WHY CAN'T WE JUST MIND OUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS.
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[Sunday
January 14th, 2007
8:56pm] |
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Somethings wrong. Something isn't right. My dad isn't telling me something, and I know it.
I had a visitation the other day. A robin was on my deck out of nowhere, and he came back the next day. I think it was Blair or something. Sergei said it could be him, but it just as well might be a coincidence, and he's right. But I believe it was him checking up on me.
I had a dream the other night that Sergei got mad at me and started yelling at me for talking to another guy. I started crying and he started crying and we were both crying and i started hitting him because I didn't want him to feel bad about making me cry. He started crying even more because he thought i was going to break up with him, and then i started crying because I thought he was going to do the same. It was more of a nightmare.
I told Sergei I want him to marry me....lol...I meant it...I don't think he knew that though.
I feel so bad for all the shit i've said and done that makes him so mad. If i even think back on it, I feel terrible. and sometimes i just want to cry.
I love cuddling with im and i love knowing he's still here, and I'm amazed he's still with me.I don't know why...but i am. I used to feel like he was going to be done with me soon, but thats just because thats what i was used to. It always happend. But it's clear to me, that he isn't going anywhere...and I wont let him. I need him. I need him with me.
His dad told him he wants us to be together for a long time, and that it seems like we "have a good bond", which he's right...we do. we have a very good bond. We understand eachother and we listen to eachother, and we help eachother and we love eachtoher, and WE'RE FUN! we're a fun couple.
idunno....i really see this going somewhere.
and correct me if i'm wrong, but we're fucking adorable.
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[Monday
January 1st, 2007
3:09pm] |
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so basically I've fallen head over heals. It's crazy to think that HE LOVES ME. He's my rock star.
We're not the kind of couple that only keeps to ourselves and it's just US all the time. thats not how it is, and that not how we want it to be. We're the couple that will have a Sergei - Emily day and then hang out with everybody afterward. We're social. unlike Meg and Andy that are just THEM all the time, that bugs me. I can't remember the last time We hung out with just Andy. God, I miss that dickwad.
In other news, I sent Meaghan a bitchy myspace message to tell her how sick i am of hearing about her graduation thats coming up in 6 mothns. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. Yeah, we're all excited to graduate. but hell, talk about it when it's two days away. I mean, theres still college after this. And it wasn't bitchy in a mean way, it was more like a "hey, this is how i feel in bitchy mode"
I'm at Sergei's house with Tim and Lisa. Sergei and Mark ran to the store to get STARCRAFT . Oh god, thats going to be intiresting. i have starcraft, so maybe I'll join in on the fun. Lisa came here to pick up Tim and I to go jam. Then we're all going to super buffet. It's gonna be sweet.
I've been listening to a lot of Indie lately. I still LOVE LOVE LOVE my metal. But Indie is just fantastic.
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| new hair do |
[Thursday
December 28th, 2006
8:53pm] |
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so basically im no longer a blondie.
now, im more of a reddish-brown.
i think it's cute
sergei loves it
my mom just....doesnt care.
hahha. well, staying with my BFF tonight :]
and spending the day with my baby tomorrow. <B>3 MONTHS</b>
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| Big Change |
[Tuesday
December 26th, 2006
3:14pm] |
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so, i've pretty much stopped wearing makeup.
i will on ocasion
but it takes too much time, and to be quite honest, i like me better without it
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[Sunday
December 24th, 2006
11:42pm] |
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Merry Christmas eve everybody
this thing with michelle coming back is getting easier. I'm not worried anymore because i trust sergei!
Mike and I are talking again after he disappeared off the face of the earth. I miss him kinda.
Sergei and I are fantastic. My Family loves him and he treats me so well.
Everything is perfect.
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[Tuesday
December 12th, 2006
2:49pm] |
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the cozmonauts are playing the following shows:
December 27 : emerald ball room
January 7: haylof liquor stand
February 11: Clutch cargos
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| Bright Eyes |
[Thursday
November 23rd, 2006
10:09pm] |
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Now and Again, it seems worse than it is.
But mostly the view is accurate.
You see your breath in the air, and you climb up the stairs to that coffin you call your apartment
and you sink in your chair, brush the snow from your hair and DRINK THE COLD AWAY
and youre not really sure what you're doing this for
but you need something to fill up the days
A FEW MORE HOURS....
theres a dream in my brain that just won't go away, it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago
and I'm standing on a bridge in the town where i lived as a kid with my mom and my fathers.
and then then bridge disappears, and im standing on air with nothing holding me.
and i hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark..for all those starving eyes to see
like the ones we've wished on.
now, I'm confused, is this depth really you?
Do these dreams have any meaning?
No, i think it's more like a ghost thats been following us both.
something vague, that we're not seeing.
Something more like a feeling.
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| They're Jammin Again |
[Saturday
November 11th, 2006
2:45pm] |
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the cozmonauts are playing battle of the bands at Clutch Cargos on Feb 11. woooo!!!
Meg, Andy, Toby and Myself went to The Casualties on Sunday. It was amazing. I wanted Sergei to be there..but he's more of a metal head than a punker. i am too, but still...i love the punk scene and the show was great.
Sergei and I are going to In Flames, Lacuna Coil, and The sword on December 17 for my birthday. Im so excited.
Me and Sergei went for a long walk last night at like...10PM. we just walked down van dyke to Josh motherfuckers. It was awesome. i love our conversations. they never get old, and we can always hold our conversations, too. He told me last night that if we live together, and i get a $300 ticket for riding my dirtbike in a rural area, he wouldn't be mad. i thought that was awesome.
We say that if we live together we're gonna get a puppy and name it Noob or asshole. I told my mom this, she thought it was funny.
My dad really likes Sergei. he went to all their battle of the bands rounds..and hell, my dad is a hardass and he hugged Sergei. By the beard of Zeus, i was shocked. My dad has NEVER approved of anybody and he loves sergei. But how can't you? He's sergei.he's wonderful. he's hot and HE'S HAIRY!!!! hahahahahah. the only guy i've ever liked hairy.
.....wtf? he's playing acoustic version of sleep now in the fire. hahhah it's a total shmag song. hahah oh god, i love him.
I saw Borat last night with Sergei, Tim, Lisa, Sarah, and Andreas. it was hilarious. i loved it. i want to see it again.
I've been playing video games a lot lately.
im doing really well in school.
I spend a lot of time with Sergei, and it doesn't get old. im not sick of him at all. it doesnt feel right when i don't see him. We're perfect.
we have these weird moments all the time where we'll take words out of eachothers head....and we'll say them at the exact same time. and today we each took a sip of our soda and then put them down at the exact same time and then we said the exact same thing to Josh at the exact same time....its so weird.
i love my life
im so happy
i want to make romance explosion all over your stomache :)
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[Sunday
October 15th, 2006
11:26am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Sergei told me he loved me last night.
we were laying down on a couch during the rave (;]) and his head was on my chest,and he was laying over me and he looked up at me and said "guess what..." and i was like "...what?" and he said "...i love you" and i kissed him, smiled and said "i love you too"
it was adorable. I'm smitted with that boy, he told me that he's really happy with me, i don't even know where to begin...
everything is....wow - fantastic.
anyhoo. the rave = amazing. we all had a great time. we all glowed in the dark. i put neon makeup on Meg and myself, so our eyes would glow. everyone was dancing and all over eachother. shirtless o'clock was around 8:30...so you know what that means, ALL THE SHIRTS CAME OFF.
Patience came, I haven't seen that girl in..gosh, 2 years? yeah, long ass time.
Her boobs got HUGE. seriously, i examined them(with the shirt on) and those things are seriously 5 HANDFULLS!! it's crazy.
so i wrote on her chest with glowy marker "i have huge boobs"...it was hilarious.
Toby is a really cool Kid. (foreign exchanged student from Germany). He's gonna be 18 soon, so we need to throw him a partayyyy.
he brought Meg roses (how adorable)
The Cozmonauts and their girls (Meg, lisa, and myself) are doing great.
They played battle of the bands on Friday night. They took 3rd place, and they're going to the next round which is on Friday again. Same time + Place.
i expect people to be there.
Sergei met my Dad, and surprisingly, my dad really likes Sergei. he told me i did good. and he loved the band, so thats a double plus.
well.
Meg and I are going to see our boys.
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[Sunday
October 8th, 2006
4:23pm] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
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Im trying to get Sergei to play the song he wrote about all of us.
Meg and I are loving life right now. We're so happy.
the boys are happy
we're all amazing.
Sergei told me the boys were talking about how we're all at perfect points in our lives because we're with people that all get along and can't go a day without seeing eachother, and how they can name a million things that are better about LIsa, Meg, and I than their x girlfriends, and thats amazing to me.
I finished my autobiography, and Sergei finished his. We're switching soon so we can read eachother's lives and take it as a bonding experinece.
I actually look forward to going to school now. my art class is amazing as usual. Ms. Fields loves me, shes an amazing art teacher. she tells me that im at a higher level than that art class requires and she wants to put me in AP 2D studio, which is like..college level art. I thought that was an awesome compliment.
We're all at Andy's house right now, the boys are jammin.
Meg, Andy and Myself are going to see The Casualties on November 5th at St. Andrew's hall.
Im so excited. i love political music and i love anarchism and i love punk shows.
it's awesome.
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| Couldn't be better |
[Saturday
October 7th, 2006
5:42pm] |
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the boys are jammin right now.
my boyfriend is amazing. it's a good feeling that we're all one close group
school is good, except for extremely crowded hallways.
homecoming was amazing. We all looked fantastic.
so stevenson is actually pretty fuckin sweet this year
Lisa and i wrote a rap song about goin to a bunch of different states and fuckin these weird bitches. it was pretty funny, we performed it after the boys played californiacation. it was amusing.
We're going to a haunted hayride tonight, some slaughter at sundown shit. It's supposed to be good.
I think they're almost done now, then I don't know what we're doing.
Yesterday we just hung out pretty much. had a party at Aly's
Next weekend is battle of the bands, and the boys are playin it.
then we're going to royal oak and im staying at meg's house.
saturday is meg's party and the boys are playing that as welll.
its a rave party, yeah rave in Meg's basement!
Jackass 2 was amazing.
Sergei is looking for a shirt, YEAH SWEATY HAIRY MAN.
MEGS ART SUCKS :) rofl.
dont ask
Lisa is singing love songs from the 60's.
i love my life
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| The boys are jammin' :] |
[Friday
September 29th, 2006
3:00pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
so, homecoming is tomorrow :)
and I'm at andy's hose right now and they're jammin.
Sergei is the frontman/guitarist
andy - drums
tim- bass
they're so good. they're playing battle of the bands in october
Meg says Sergei is going to much this "us" thing official after homecoming. and i'm excited.
idk if it'll happen.
we care about eachother a lot.
and today we were talking about how i've been in enough relationships to know what i DONT want.
and sergei isn't anything that i don't want. he's amazing. he's a sweet guy. we go to school together, which is something I always told myself I wouldn't do, but this is different.
Theres no drama with this group, and i love it that way.
I'm gonna quit smoking. i've cut down a lot. Sergei keeps reminding me that I'm going to :)
hahaha. we've already had a semi- drunken night together....hahah that was a lot of fun.
Everything is fantastic.
Homecoming is gonna be great. me meg and Lisa are gonna look HOTTTTTTTTT :)
hahahah
anyways. I've squared away with all this kyle shit.
im gonna try and be cool and civil with Kathi as well as kyle. and i wish them the best
as for Jessie. We're talking again. I don't know if this makes us friends again, but missy still wants to beat my ass. But as long as Jessica and I are cool with eachother, im good with missy . Jessie says missy probably didn't mean it in the way that jess took it, and that she is just a jealous person, and i'm aware of this so i understood and let it go.
Stevenson is pretty good this year.
Theres a foreign exchange student in my German class from Germany, His name is Toby and we've become friends. he's really cool. He's in a rock band in germany, and he let my listen to their CD and they're really good.
Steven is so crowded this year, though. Im late for almost every class because the halls are literally stopped with people.
well the boys are jammin and meg is coming over.
ILOVEYOUALL.
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